So often in my life I've been that person who's overextended. I spent as long as I can remember always saying yes, even when I wanted to say no, especially when I wanted to say no. In retrospect I realize it was people-pleasing and codependency. If someone needed something or invited me somewhere I couldn't turn them down. I may disappoint them. This was my life for a very long time and I'd get resentful for not getting my own needs met, which is no one's responsibility but my own.
There are two times in my life when I said no, to pretty much everything. The first time was in medical school. Studying took priority after all.
And then again, when the writing deadlines started to pile up, no became my go-to word. I couldn't possibly do this or go there if a manuscript was due in a week or two. This has been the last two years of my life. During the five years it took me to get my masters in school, I looked back and felt I'd missed out on life. I don't want that to happen while I'm writing. This may not be my only job right now (I still have the day job) but it is the one I want for the long haul and saying yes to things that light me up is part of tending my garden.
So this past week I said yes to two fun things. I went to see the long standing San Francisco night club musical, Beach Blanket Babylon. I've lived in the Bay Area for over half my life and yet I'd never seen it before. If a close friend hadn't invited me, I would never have even thought of it. That was one very fun yes.
And then on Sunday night some new friends invited me to see the band, Smashing Pumpkins, who I've always loved. I'm not a spontaneous person at all but I sucked it up and said yes. The concert was on Monday and it was incredible. These two events lit my fire and I've been able to get back to the editing with renewed vigor.
Neither of these events, or friends put any pressure on me. They simply invited me and let me decide. It was exactly what I needed. A slice of YES in order for everything else to fall back into place. Try it—if you usually say no to things, say yes and visa versa! You'll never know what unexpected magic will happen until you do.
Author Chloe Adler
Here are some musings - Nothing fancy - no outline and no editor - just some stream of consciousness. If you're looking for the Journey of Rain Star (blog/story) you can find it here. If you want to read my books, please go here :)