I have very strong feelings when it comes to the subject of whether to fake it or not. Fake what? The Big O. Why do women fake orgasms? That’s the first question that begs asking… I surmise there are two reasons but if there are more, please let me know!
I think that the partner I’m with should work at it and if they fail, they should know they failed. I used to have people tell me “no one is responsible for your orgasm but yourself” and while that is true to a certain extent I feel that if there is another person involved they should be present and helpful. Otherwise why bother with someone else sexually? Why not just masturbate?
I’ve had people get angry at me saying that they cannot “give” me an orgasm, I have to. Again, I disagree. I have no doubt that a person can give another person an orgasm. I have been responsible for giving many orgasms to men. Why should it be different for women? Because it’s more difficult? Because for some men it’s illusive? Bah! Ask and do it.
Have I had sexually unfulfilling relationships? Yes but only one, my marriage that lasted far too long. My ex-husband was never interested in my orgasm, only his own. And he taught me well. He taught me never to settle again and I haven’t. I’ve been with partners, male and female who find as much pleasure in giving as they do in receiving. Some even more so – giving. Personally I love to give. When my partner is pleasured, I feel satiated and happy.
But if I was faking my orgasm I would be doing a disservice to my partner. They wouldn’t be getting the best parts of me. I would be guarded. I would be lying. It feels dirty to me. If I’m with a partner who doesn’t or can’t give me an orgasm I’ll show them how. If I’m with a partner who doesn’t care, like my ex-husband, I leave. In my opinion - if a woman doesn’t enjoy sex or can’t have an orgasm, she should tell her partner or stop having sex. There are women who enjoy sex but can’t orgasm, that’s fine. Orgasm is not the end all be all for women, though it can be amazingly wonderful. Some women and even most women sometimes, can get emotional fulfillment and/or great sexual pleasure without orgasming. It’s difficult for some men to understand this but I’ve explained it before. Sometimes I just don’t feel like having one. Rarely, but it happens. I hesitate to type “communication is the key” but it kind of is… If he or she is the right person for you, they will be open to discussion and understand your feelings.